xepheria

:>

Thu, 15 Nov 2007 11:21:53 GMT

The new flat is brilliant. Finally got internet yesterday, so I'm happy about that :D The flat is lovely and bright and airy, and my mum's spent a load of money on a few bits of furniture for me. I'm really glad for that, it'd be so bare if she hadn't. We've got a communal garden out the back for Kaida to play in, and the few people I've met have seemed really nice. Got Patch-cat back from my mother and she's settled in well too, though she has clouted Kaida a couple of times for trapping her in a corner. She still hasn't learned that it's unwise to corner a cat.

The only thing that I dislike is cooking in an electric oven. Omg it sucks D< Nothing I can do though >:

Anyways, Imma go put lunch on. Flat rocks, happy Beckie :>

Bleh

Sun, 28 Oct 2007 14:33:01 GMT

Looked around a bit and seen it'll cost Pete around £20 a weekend (maybe a little more) for the trip to see Kaida - that's assuming he does all 4 drives himself. That is a lot really and I feel bad. I'm fairly sure he'll continue to claim child tax credit for her (which I don't think he's actually supposed to be doing since she lives with me..) so that should pay for it I think, but I'm not sure. I looked at the train prices but it'll cost me £36 return and 4 hours journey each way. So that's out of the question.

Trying to start packing my things into boxes but it's a hard job by myself. I don't think I have enough boxes! The wallpaper in the bedroom is really damn hard to strip off because it's that waterproof/scribbleproof type. The steamer doesn't get through but at least it makes it stretchy and easier to peel off so I can get to the backing paper below.

Dad and stepmum coming round tonight for half an hour or so on the way through - I hope Pete gives Kaida back like he promised. Stupid man is stupid. :>

One week to go!

Sat, 27 Oct 2007 17:20:55 GMT

Soooo tired ; ; Spent the whole day stripping wallpaper and emptying my cupboards >: Mother came to help and we got a hell of a lot done - flat's looking much better. She brought her puppy with her, it's so cute!

Lookit, picture! My hair and shirt are a state because of all the work >:

Pete called up to scream at me over the phone, making all kinds of ridiculous accusation and silly insults. He just isn't capable of talking rationally, every time I tired to talk to him or asked him to calm down he just shouted louder. He's going to make this very difficult for me. I'm really looking forward to movingaway but I'm dreading all the shit Pete will give me. He can't see that schools are better there (even if he understood I doubt he realises the importance of good education), the neighborhood is better than anywhere in portsmouth, and that uprooting Kaida now at not even three isn't going to harm her. He just rages and screams and threatens with no thought >:

Anyway, going to shower and relax a bit, I'm sleepy >:

Wed, 24 Oct 2007 18:10:40 GMT

Getting things sorted - clearing out my flat, getting my accounts in order and stuff. I have an appoinment with a soliciter on Friday to talk about what I do if Pete tries to get custody of Kaida. I -think- we should be safe - Pete has a mortgage to pay off, so he can't stop work to care for her, he can't leave her with his dad because he's disabled. Plus the courts don't like to seperate children from their mothers unless the mother is really terrible. So it should work out in my favour. That doesn't stop me from being scared and stressed out though.

I think Pete is expecting me to just roll over and back down. I've wanted to move before but every time he's threatened me with taking Kaida away (or killing me and taking her, lawl. Gogo chav-man!), and I've just given up on it each time. I'm not going to do what he wants this time. >( Today he accused me of deliberately waiting until he was tied down by a mortgage to make the decision to move, so that he couldn't follow. He's rather retarded.

Brother is coming down on the weekend to help me with clearing out the flat and take some stuff up to my mum's to store 'til I move. It's too big a job for me to do on my own :X I suppose I'll get some beers for him to drink :> My brother's funny when he's been drinking. Hopefully his fiancee will come with him too, she's nice :3

Blarrgh so much stuff to do :<<< cleaning and throwing stuff away and sorting papers and stuff! D<

o..

Mon, 22 Oct 2007 19:26:11 GMT

The visit to my mother's was ok. Kaida loved the puppy and the cats. Was really nice to see my brother and his fiancee too. We looked at some flats there and I'm moving into one in November! It's really nice, in a great area, really big and just perfect for us :X My ex went mad when I told him (as expected) and he did his usual "I'm taking you to court for custody of Kaida!" thing, so now I have to get a lawyer >: Got appointment on Friday so I can find out what my right are and stuff >:

Kaida's got a place in the nursery there already - my mother's next door neighbor runs it :> It'll be a brilliant area for her to grow up in, the schools are good and crime is low. I love it there, it's where I grew up myself. The flat I'm moving into is only a short way from a little train station, so Si and Nai can come over to visit from Bicester where they're moving to. Kaida will love to see her auntie and uncle more.

I'm worried about what's going to happen with my ex, but screw him really >: It's not like I'm stopping him from ever seeing Kaida, and I'm prepared to take the train down to Portsmouth every weekend so that he can see her. He isn't a very clever rational person though, so I'm fairly sure he's going to make it all as difficult as possible. >:

Spoke to my dad and step mum for the first time in months - Si phoned them up and told them that Pete was being a dick and that I was trying to move, and I needed everyone's support. They're coming to visit for an hour or so on Sunday, on the way back from Germany. Will be nice to see them I guess.

Happyhappy :>

Argh D:

Fri, 19 Oct 2007 10:31:21 GMT

So, somehow my mum persuaded me to go visit her. :( She's picking me and Kaida up in a couple of hours to stay the weekend, and I'm sooo not looking forward to it. Going to look at some flats near-ish to where she lives to get an idea of prices and quality around there.

I ended up breaking down over the phone to her the other day, so I'm not going to hear the end of that.. Will be very embarrasing >: But! She has a puppy that Kaida will love to play with and we will get to do fun stuff so it'll be ok. I hope she lets me bring my pet rats, they won't won't have enough water to last the weekend >: My ex can't take them because he has some kind of sonic rodent deterrent that would hurt them.

Looking forward to seeing my brother - it's his last week with my mum I think before he moves into his own flat. He's the only family member I have that I get on with D<

Anyway gotta go and get ready. Short and pointless, lawl.

Sun, 07 Oct 2007 04:42:35 GMT

Well! It's been rather a long time since I've even touched this journal. I decided it was time to spruce it up and start over.

The past two years have been hard. Isolated in a city where I don't know anybody, trying to raise my daughter alone while staying sane in the process. It's not possible! It has really sucked.

Two weeks ago my brother phoned up and asked if I'd like to rent a flat with him and his fiancee in Bicester. I wasn't really sure if I could (the ex would go mad if I tried to move), so I said I'd think about it. Eventually I decided to screw what my ex wanted and just go. But it was too late, he'd already reserved a small place since I'd taken so long to respond. :( I was pretty gutted about it. Situations like that are why I don't like to get my hopes up for anything.

So my mum phoned up a few hours later to see how I was doing. She offered to help me find a flat near her but I know she's full of empty promises. I'm going to try move though. I really need to get away from here. The only thing that really stands in my way is myself. I'm scared to try because I know how easily hopes and plans come crashing down. But I will. I need to stop being so pathetic for Kaida's sake.

Onto less gloomy ramblings >.> House! Friends on FFXI were talking about the newest series of House, and I was reminded that I had watched series 1 like.. a year and a half ago and forgotten about it. So I've been downloading episodes as fast as I can (not fast enough! ; ; ) to try catch up and zomg I heart it. A medical show that doesn't suck, yey. Cute doctors are a plus too. :D

Kaida is going to be three in December. It's kind of hard to believe that it's been that long already. I don't know what to get her for her birthday! Doesn't help that I'm skint D< I think she'd like a learning computer-thing. She's always trying to use mine. I dunno, still time yet to think of something.

>_> Gone half 5 in the morning already. Will carry on my rambling tomorrow. Kinda nice to write things down I guess.